Hard

29 Jun

Can I be honest? I’m struggling. There is this battle between the mind and heart and right now…god help me. I am trusting God currently because its all I can do at this point. I have no clue where my personal life is or what course is being charted. Insomnia is real right now. All I think about is him. And this is straight bullshit  craziness.  I feel like I am walking around led in the dark and there is a part of me that wants off. I don’t like this feeling god. I know it’s necessary but I don’t like this whole not knowing thing. Right through here I need to be real. I’m not trying to speak things thoughts and emotions into existence. I just need to say what is in my heart.
What is really in my heart? Love. Plain and simple. Love that yearns to be given. But it must be worthy of giving. I need you God right now. I ask your wisdom to guide me through to follow you and not my own understanding. This post has taken me all day to write. I need your guidance god. Help me to discern who and what attempts to come close to me. My love is a gift and is precious and invaluable. That gift of love I pray god that you grant to the man of God that will diligently seek and pursue it. One after your own heart. Not just in word but yet in action. Amen

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