Archive | January, 2012

Learning paths….

16 Jan

2012….

So far…as January draws to a close…this month has been a varying, twisting and turning coaster. From family….to work…to personal things…the 1st month of the year has truly been a doosie. But in all I am so thankful to God and what he has shown me through all of this.

As far as work… cavalry is on the way…Its a slow rebuilding process, but we will make it through…My new thing there is to inspire! I want my staff to push to be better as am I. And I won’t stop. I may work on their nerves…but I want them to know that I care about what happens to them outside of work and that they don’t get caught in a rut.

Personally, I can truly stand and declare that I am free. I am learning lessons in love. I don’t have to have everything and all of the answers right now. And that’s ok. I’m learning not to put so much pressure on myself in regard to being with a guy. I am learning to follow my own advice a build strong friendships before the next level is mentioned. I know men aren’t perfect and neither am I and its ok. What I do know is that God has for me will be just for me and no one else. I’m staying focused this time on the things that he has blessed me with and given me. And like Jill said, I am living life like it is truly golden. I am losing the weight… figuratively, emotionally, mentally, and physically. And all that I can say family is that it feels so good..that it brings me to tears when I look back at where I was to where now I am headed towards.

I am joining Lakewood. And its a wonderful fit for me. I FOUND A CHURCH HOME!!! And it only took me a year and some change. No it isn’t Beacon Light..but I felt God in every aspect of service on Sunday, and I know that this is where I belong. And I said I didn’t want a mega church, lol…But what I see is that with God it doesn’t matter. His word for me will come from anywhere big or small. At Lakewood, I see where I am going to be challenged and pushed to not stay average and behind the scenes in the talents that God has given me. He is going to convict at every point until I succumb to His will. And I am tired of running. You have me…

Which leads me to the next thing…I wrote an entry some months back Get yourself a piece of that here. I am starting to paint and create again. It feels good. I feel like a kid who is entering the pool for the 1st time letting the water meet my body temperature until am comfortable to move further. I need to journal more…and not writing. I need to start an art journal…and I think that will help with inspiration. But I finished and under-painting a few days ago and I am stuck.. I am not going to let it stop me…I need to draw through it…so we shall see where this leads. I need to figure out a way to merge my technical drawing self with my freedom filled drawing self. I am staying positive 🙂 I realize that i am meant to create…not just for me, but for the children and adults that I may inspire to create. For those, like myself who were told you wont make money…don’t do that. I want to be a living testament that you can…we all can. Can what, you may ask…we can do all and be all that God has called us to be according to His purpose.

The difference between success and average is grind. My grind meter isn’t even full…I need to work on this EVERY DAY..non-stop..But even if I slack….I can’t beat myself up but hop right back on and get at it again. I am purchasing this shirt…and will wear it proudly 🙂

Ok…I have things to do today…leave a comment…tell me what you think! Be blessed all. Love you!

enjoy your sun day! Get it?

Almost forgot!! Enjoy the video…

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i think i fucked up….

13 Jan

Ok…so I am usually not the chick to send out random text messages…but this new years…apparently i was feeling some type of way, and it went all downhill to me from there. I kinda feel bad about it… partially because when I reread it the next day i didn’t think it was all that bad…But i think I may have offended folks because I haven’t heard anything since that night…I mean NORMALLY when I haven’t had liquid libation, I won’t say anything. But this night I was on that liquid courage something serious…and i felt that i needed to say how I felt right then and there…Needless to say I woke up early the next day and went to church and asked for forgiveness…Ahh…I hate feeling like that…maybe one day I will get the opportunity to explain myself…then again maybe not. Well let me say this…if this blog is speaking directly to you…and I offended you…I am sorry. i am working on how I deliver thoughts, feelings and emotions… It’s hard though…especially when its a person you love…

Alright…my Jam…Eric Roberson’s latest CD Mr. Nice Guy….the name of this track is “At the Same Time”

If he isn’t singing my song right now…or well at least its how it seems #Kanyeshrug

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