Dear John

5 Aug

Remember that show from the 80’s? Lol.

Whomever came up with this concept…I swear I could string them up by their toes and hang them off a cliff.

I’ve been on the receiving end of one of this and in some relationships was tempted to send a few here and there. The thing that stopped me was my need to have verbal closure I guess. For me, I am a tad confrontational. I like to tell you how I feel and then walk away. Walk away was a bad choice of words…its more like get it off my chest and have a decent conversation about things and then leave…I just have this deep seeded need to resolve and close issues. I would just rather tell you soething important like “lets break up” in person rather than over the phone or something just horrible like texting.

I will be the 1st to admit sometimes I don’t give myself enough time to calm down when I need to resolve an issue…I’m working on that… But to write a letter and leave it on the dresser or mantle, for me just doesn’t do it. ESPECIALLY when you want to end a relationship. It kills me inside because there is no closure with dear john letters for both parties. To me its so impersonal and disrespectful even. When it happened to me, I was remember saying to myself WTF! Really, I thought I deserved more than some foolish piece of paper giving me some half ass excuse as to why we were no longer together…I mean…especially if you had been in a relationship for a few years, to just end things in a funky letter what??

It’s completely selfish and hurtful. Not to mention, its cowardly. Most letters usually include the infamous quote, “By the time you read this I will be gone.” wtf? (side note: ok in a domestic this is plausible…nipping that side comment/rebuttal in the butt right now). I just don’t get it…you mean to tell me, you didn’t have the common courtesy to tell me face to face or sit down with me and tell me its over?? Usually the receiving end of these letters have no idea what hit them…and the writer of the letter is hyped up on this false sense of “this is the best way and they will understand type crap”. But what they fail to realize is that they end up hurting that person more than they realize.

You leave them with all these unanswered questions and crazy concoctions because all they are left with is your silly ass piece of paper. Honestly, when have you EVER heard a person say or I am cool with that…and if you have they are such liars…It leaves your world turned upside down and can turn a seemingly calm, mild mannered person into this crazy lunatic, because they were sooo blindsided by your cowardice and arrogance to leave with a letter. And you wonder why your phone gets blown up and people go on some stalker bs? I think a dear john letter prompted Jazmine Sullivan’s bust you windows, and possibly some of our other breakup classics…note Me’Shell N’Deocello’s Outside your door…People, letters like that are pre-thought out. You don’t just one day sit down and decide to write some stuff like that. That had been festering in your spirit for a hot minute…

So before you write that letter, or send that text, take that same time to sit and talk with that person. If its a fear thing, and you are scared to talk to that person, you font need to be in a relationship anyways, you need to work on your communication issues. Trust me it’s better in the long run.

You owe them at least that much.


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